Why I feel so "Old"

There are many tell tale signs that I am getting older. The fact that I am finding more and more gray hairs popping up everyday. The reflection in the mirror has definitely change over the years. Having aches and pains in parts of the body that you never thought could hurt. I turn on the oldies station on the radio and hear songs of my youth, knowing that the toys that I played with are now rare collectibles and have spots in some antique stores and museums. Seeing the athletes that I looked up too as a child looking like someone's grandparents. Going to a Doctor that is younger then I am. Watching the same daughter that I held in my arms get ready for high school dances. But these are not the things that make me feel really old.



The thing that makes me feel like I am some ancient being from some long lost era is seeing the way the world has changed. Certain ways of thinking and acting that were inbreeded in me from a very young age.Manners,morals and respect have all seem to become some kind punch line that the younger generation use to make older people feel like we were from some other planet. I am sure that the older generations that have passed are looking down at us shaking their heads wondering how could it get so bad in such a short period of time. I remember as a young boy visiting my grandparents, my grand pop would take me out to the back yard to do some yard work. And as I was raking the leaves he would not miss the opportunity to tell me how a gentleman was supposed to act. Always open a door or offer your seat to a lady. Never use foul language in front of children, a lady or the elderly. When you shake someone's hand, look them in the eye and give them your word, you always follow through with what you promise. He taught me that your honor is much more important then your ego. Then he told me about respecting your elders and the elderly, because if it wasn't for them we would not have what we have now. They are the ones that paved the road in making this country what it is today.



The whole idea for this blog came to me in a very strange place. I was at the super market picking up a few things last night. As I was standing at the end of the isle I saw a little old lady struggling to pick up a case of spring water to put into her cart. Every time some young person walked past her like she wasn't even there I got more and more ashamed of what has become of us as a people. I quickly made my way over to help her. She smiled and thanked me and say it was nice to see there were still a few gentlemen in the world. What she said made me feel good and sad all at the same time. I think I would have felt happier to see a young person help her. After that I made my way to the closest check out line to wait my turn. Standing not 5 feet away from me in the next line was a young mother, couldn't be any older then 23 or 24. She had her little boy, maybe 3 or 4 in the cart. She was on her cell phone talking to someone, and every other word out of her mouth was profanity. She used language that you would expect to hear coming from a construction site. But here she was using in the presence of her young child and in front of mixed company. The little old lady I had helped was standing behind her and by the look on her face she felt the same way I did, completely disgusted.Have we as a people forgotten how to express ourselves without using vulgar language? Have we forgotten how to show love and compassion to others? Are we really so self centered that we believe the rest of the world isn't as important as we are?



I know that when I was a child growing up not to far from where I live now, I would have never seen the things I saw last night.The world has changed so much in the past 25 years, and I don't even mean the technology. So many of us have lost all respect for others and for ourselves, if that's the way we are going to act. I really do believe that we are on a downward spiral as a culture. I for one refuse to let myself get caught up in the "ME, ME, ME" attitude that so many have nowadays. I will continue to be the person that my grandfather hoped I would grow up to be. And I will keep reminding my children the importance of living a good, loving and compassionate life.So I am making a plea to all that read this, let's try and bring back the old and out dated way of treating our fellow man. It would be a much nicer place to live. Well this was some serious ranting.I just hope that there are some people out there that agree with me. It would make me feel alot less old.LOL!!! Love your life and it will love you back.

What does "friend" mean to you?

So I got to thinking about the word friend today.Webster's dictionary defines it as: a person with whom one enjoys mutual affection.As for me I would like to think it means a lot more then that. I am very careful about who I call "friend," I think a lot of people tend to use the word to frequently. In my eyes you have to be a special person to be a real friend. A real friend is someone that is there for you no matter what. They are there, when something good happens in your life, to help you celebrate. They are there to help hold things together when it feels like your world is falling apart. You find out who your friends are when your car breaks down in the middle of the night or when it's time to move. But a real friend is even more then that.


To a real friend your happiness is just as important to them as their own. They wish just as many good things for you as they do for themselves. Always there if you need a shoulder to cry on or just to listen to you when you have a problem. They care enough about you to tell you the truth even if it's not what you want to hear. A "real" friend never says to themselves "what's in it for me" or "why do they always bother me when they have a problem," because a true friend wants you to call them when you need them. They are the ones that are walking in when the rest of the world is walking out. Never turning their backs on you. And the only time they would ever get in your way is when you are falling.


Anyone who has a "friend" like the one I just described is truly blessed. But not everyone can have a friend like this, for you see to have a friend like this you have to be a friend like this. Friendship is not a one way street, to have a strong and lasting friendship you both have to do your part to make it work. Just remember "Friends" are the family we get to choose, so choose wisely. Surround yourself with people who you know would never hurt you and always be there for you, and as long as you feel the same way about them your lives together will be filled with love and happiness. I really look forward to making a lifetime of memories with the people I call "FRIEND." Love your life and it will love you back!

What works for us,

Some friends of mine (you know who you are) have told me in the past that I could hold classes about how to be a good husband. Well, I don't know about how good of a husband I am. I have had my share of moments when I would drive my wife crazy. We have been together for almost 15 years now and we have our fair share of hard times. At each others throats, saying terrible things to each other and even threatening to leave the other. But we rode out the storm and together we have grown. Not only mentally but spiritually. You know in my life I have heard people say that "you shouldn't have to work at making your relationship last." I couldn't disagree more with that statement. You need to work for everything that you want to keep. Maybe a better saying would be "working on your relationship should never feel like work." Everything I do for my wife and children I do because I want to do it. I work on keeping them happy and safe. But not for one moment did I wish I didn't have that job. It is the best job I could ever wish for. And it is mine till the day I die.


I was just watching the news and they had an interview with Tiger Woods. I have to admit when I heard about his infidelity I was totally disgusted by him. I never understood cheating on the person your with. I mean if you want to be with other people then just have the decency to break it off with the person your in a relationship with. It always breaks my heart when I hear about a marriage ending in divorce. The divorce rate in this country is staggering! How have we as a people come to this? Let's look back, just a few generations, our grandparents generation. So many couples were getting married at such young ages (17-20) after knowing each other just a short period of time, and they are married for 40,50 even 60 years. What did they know that somehow got lost from our mentality? The old saying goes "they don't build em like that anymore" well in my eyes that goes for relationships too.


There is one thing that I would tell someone who came to me for marital advice. My happiness has always depended on the happiness of my loved ones. Knowing that my wife and children are happy is the best thing in the world to me. And I know that my wife feels the same for me. When you have two people who's one goal in life is to make the other happy, you have a good recipe for success. I truly know that my wife and I will be together forever. There is no one in the world I would rather grow old with. "Being in love" with someone isn't enough, you have to "Love being" with that person too. You have to be able to just enjoy each others company. Play games, watch movies, act like fools together or just sit quietly and read together. Having a REAL friendship is, in my eyes, one of the most important pieces to having a good relationship. It's not the only piece but it's a big one. Well like I said, I don't know how qualified I am to write about how to have a good relationship, I just know what works for us. And hopefully, to everyone reading this, if it hasn't already, I hope you find what works for you. Love your life and it will love you back.

Be Happy!

What is it in human nature that makes so many of us dwell on the bad things that happen in our lives? They say things like "My life sucks","I am so unlucky" and "Why do these things always happen to me?". But I wonder, when things were going your way did you ever stop and think about how good your life was? Were you thankful and appreciative? We all have so much in our lives to be thankful for, but we take them all for granted. Almost like they are owed to us. I bet anyone sitting in a wheelchair right now would love to trade places with you just to be able to walk down the street. But we complain when we have park far away from the mall and have to walk a little. And some of us want to have a bigger and fancier place to live. I think the guy sleeping under the bridge would find it very comfortable. Everyone has UP's and down's in their lives. You lose things that you loved, people who you cared about hurt your feelings, someone you love passes away or you may have even lost your job. And all those things are terrible and it hurts when they happen. Pain is inevitable but suffering is optional. That means you can't stop from hurting, but dwelling on it makes the pain in your heart last so much longer and makes it so much worst. Complaining or feeling sorry for yourself will never make your problems go away. We don't lose if we get knocked down! We lose if we stay down! I for one would much rather go through this life being positive that someday all my dreams are going to come true. But I am not going to sit around and stare at the clock waiting for them. I am happy with the life I have right now. That is the first step we must all take if we want to be happy. To many people search for perfection while they snub their nose at contentment. To many people search for the right person to make them happy when all the time it is in themselves. You have the power to make yourself happy. Your mind is the most important thing you have and you can't even see it or touch it. But no one can ever take it from you or use it against you unless you allow them to. Just like the old saying "You can do anything you put your mind too!" Well, I would love to see you put your mind too being happy. Love your life and it will love you back!

How did I get here?

It was the summer from "HELL"! The summer of 2009 will be etched into my memory as the "summer my life changed forever". I had just lost my job, our only income, all our medical coverage and any type of security that we may have had. But thanks to my wife and this book she read( The Secret) I stayed optimistic. Things always seemed to work out for the best when we needed them to. But then came the next chain of events that shook my world to it's foundations. In a matter of 2 months three things happened to me that I wasn't sure I was going to be able to survive. But not only did I survive, I decide that it was about time I start excepting responsibility for my life and not let this break me. It was going to make me stronger. I made a decision that it was time to realize what was important in my life and to be finally happy. I started out by just looking up some inspirational quotes and sayings. Some truly amazing people said some amazing things. But something kept pulling me towards one person. This one man decided that he didn't want to suffer anymore. So he went out looking for the cure to every one's misery. And after a very long time he found it. Buddha knew that the way to end your suffering was to be Happy. To have Love and compassion in your heart for everyone. Could it really be that simple? Well lets think about it. When you walk into a store and the cashier smiles at you and says hello, doesn't that make you feel good? Or when someone goes out of their way to hold a door open for you or to step aside and let you go first.Isn't that nice? These are some of the most simple things we can do everyday, that could make someone else's day a little better.So just imagine that on a grander scale. If you did everything you possibly could to help the people in your life imagine how quickly your happiness would spread.


For the first time in a very long time I have a great group of friends. People I would do anything for. If they called me up in the middle of the night and needed me, I would be there for them. I wish them all the best in the world and I hope all their dreams come true. But the one thing I want for them more then anything is for them to be happy. I mean truly happy. I know now that I am truly happy. I have a wonderful loving wife, 2 kids that make my heart so filled with pride that some days it feels like it's going to burst out of my chest. I have a mother-in-law and father-in-law that would do anything for us. We have a wonderful house that we have made a home. But all of this came at a price. Amy and I struggled. Financially and emotionally. Saying we had our ups an downs would be an understatement. But together we made it through the rough times. If we can do it anyone can. You just have to have faith in yourselves and remember going through this life happy is much more better than being miserable. All you have to do is get it into your mind that you are going to take control of your life. That you deserve to and want to be happy. That your life is going to start getting better right now.But remember to make your world better you have to help make the people in your world better.We are all in this together, by showing each other the love and compassion that Buddha taught us we can make this world a better place........Love your life, and it will love you back.