Take a look around.....

It amazes me how so many people don't realize how their environment affects their attitude.The more negativity that you surround yourself with, the more negative you will become.Whether it be negative people,angry music or violent movies.The more of these things we are subjected to, the more normal it becomes to us.It is as simple as the people you choose to be friends with on Facebook.I have seen friends post a status describing a hard time they are going through, and their "friends", instead of trying to be supportive and help them get through it, they add to the trouble by telling about their problems and describing how pissed off they are at the world.Trying to solve a problem with negativity and anger has never accomplished anything.

I am speaking from experience, for the longest time I was a very negative person. I became so jaded from watching violently disgusting movies, that when I saw something terrible in real life it didn't even affect me.I carried around so much hatred for certain groups of people, just because I grew up hearing family members voice their opinions.It really is scary how much we can be like robots, being unknowingly programed to be hateful or negative just by listening to the things around us.I really fear for the next generation. I watched a few music videos from some bands that my 15 year old daughters boyfriend listens too. I have to admit it is some of the most disturbing music I have ever heard. The videos were filmed so dark and depressing, it reminded me of someones nightmare.I really don't see how watching something like that can make anyone feel anything but angry or depressed.Then we have RAP, which I really don't consider music at all, it's just a bunch of profanity laced hatred towards anything that's in authority. Where have all the musicians and singers gone that tried and spread a good message ? This world needs a Bob Marley type more then ever.

I don't want to sound like I am being preachy. We all have the right to listen to, watch and be friends with whom ever we want. But if you don't like being angry or miserable any more, you really need to take notice to the things you allow in your life.Take notice to the message that is being sent out in the songs on your i-pod, try and take notice of all that unnecessary violence in that movie you just watched and last but not least open your eyes to how negative some people you know can be.Negativity creates nothing, but more Negativity, and what good has that ever done anyone.All it does is cloud our vision of how great life can be, of how Happy we all can be.Stop letting the messages and actions of others program you.Take a good look inside yourself and find that Positive Happy person inside. You'll be so thankful that you did. Blessings and Love to all.

Forgiveness

Forgiveness is not always an easy thing to do.Whether it is forgiving someone who has hurt you, or maybe it is forgiving yourself for making a bad decision.Whatever the case may be, carrying around resentment wears you down, like a river wears down the rocks in runs over.Regardless of whether the pain caused to you was accidental or on purpose, by not forgiving , you are inadvertently allowing others to continue to hurt you.You are allowing that person to determine how you feel and act. Holding onto anger and resentment makes you a bitter and miserable person.The old saying goes "It's better to forgive and forget", I not really sure which one is harder.But I do believe that it is almost impossible to forget, unless you first forgive.

What if the person you can't forgive is yourself, how damaging is that? So you have made a mistake or maybe used poor judgment, it caused you some sort of pain or suffering, but instead of learning from it and letting it go, you continue to punish yourself.What good will that ever do? We are only human, we all make mistakes. But not learning from your mistakes is just as foolish, as not forgiving yourself for making them.I have made my fair share of mistakes in life, but I have accepted them and moved on. I have also learned how to forgive others who have hurt me. It was like a huge heavy weight had been lifted off my chest.

Life is all about learning the lessons that are put in front of you.They say that you have to first lose, before you can ever really enjoy winning, and the same goes with Happiness. You have to first know sadness before you can know how to be really Happy.One of the major steps towards Happiness is Forgiveness. Don't carry around resentment and anger, instead transform it into forgiveness and compassion.You deserve to be Happy, we all do. The thing that most people don't understand is that, we hold the key to our own Happiness, in our hands.It is up to us to let go of the negativity and concentrate on the good things in our lives.Once you can do that, you are on your way to living the life ,we all wish to have.Love your life and it will Love you back. Blessings and Love to all.

Trust

Trust is one of the most intimate gifts we can bestow on another.Without it relationships can become strained and friendships are shallow.How can we ever say we care for someone unless we can also say that we trust them fully?Why is it so hard for some people to put their trust in others?There are different reasons why some people can't bring themselves to Trust.Maybe they Trusted someone who they cared about and that person betrayed them.Maybe they saw their friends get their hearts broken and decided they wouldn't let that happen to them, or maybe they themselves betrayed someones trust and they are worried about that person doing the same.Regardless of the reasons, if you never Trust others, then how will you ever have someone close to you?

Putting your Trust in another is a wonderful sign of respect. You are giving someone the ability to hurt you, but showing them that you have enough Faith in them not to. Trust is needed for any kind of relationship to have a chance to grow.When you show or tell someone who cares for you that you don't Trust them, you are basically telling them that you don't think to highly of them, that you have no faith in them. You are telling them that you see them a the type of person who would hurt you, and that is a hurtful message to send out.I have done my fair share of betraying people's Trust in my life, and it is something that I wish I could take back. I saw how much it hurt those people when they found out.I have also had my Trust betrayed and have been on the receiving end of the hurt.But I would never let my past experiences stop me from putting my Trust into others.Just because someone may have betrayed you doesn't mean they will do it again. Just because you have been betrayed by some doesn't mean everyone will, and just because you have betrayed someone ,it doesn't mean they will do it in return.

We can't live our lives being afraid of people hurting us.When we build walls around ourselves to keep from getting hurt, those walls also keep out any chance of finding real Happiness.Only by putting your Trust in others will you find out who are the ones worthy of keeping around.It's like when we were children and we would go outside to blow bubbles, we didn't blow them with the expectations of seeing them POP. We blew them to watch and see how long and how far they would float. Don't live your life waiting for bad things to happen to you,for your bubbles to pop.Enjoy your life and don't be afraid of what might never happen.Blessings and Love to all.

What do you believe?

I am getting the feeling that some of the people that I have known for a long time think that I have lost my mind or are on drugs of some sort because of my new beliefs and new outlook on life.Most of them are Catholic, who went to a Catholic school for 12 years as I did. So I know the kind of mentality that is instilled in them, that the Catholic beliefs are the correct ones and anything else is "Blasphemy". I don't have any bad feelings towards them because they see me as some kind of weird-o. I think the main problem is that so many religions brainwash their followers to look down on or even dis-like anyone who doesn't believe what they do.Is that really a reason to not like someone? Is that really a reason to harm or even KILL someone? I have done some studying on a lot of the different world religions and no where in any of them do I get the message that we should hate anyone for any reason. Especially for their beliefs.

I truly believe a major problem with the world today is, there is very little religious tolerance.Let's look back at history, how many millions of people were murdered in the name of GOD? How many wars were fought because of different beliefs? Why are people so afraid of what they don't understand or what they have no knowledge about? During the Holy Crusades the Catholic church sent warriors out to KILL or CONVERT the people of the surrounding countries. The Salem witch trials, hundreds of woman were killed because they were found to be unholy by the church.I not sure how many of you know this but Witch craft is the oldest religion on this planet. It is not old green women with pointy hats standing over a boiling cauldron. They worshiped the Mother Earth and use herbs for healing purposes.Buddhism (which technically is not a religion) is thought to be some sort of Hippy drug induced state of mind that forces you to love everything. And lets not forget those EVIL Muslims!!! The actions of some radical lunatics that hated America so badly that they killed thousands of Americans on 9/11 have branded all Muslims as terrorist.Well let me assure you that no where in the Quran does it tell any Muslim to kill Americans.

I really believe that in their simplest forms all religions are good. They teach us how to be better people and how we should treat each other.They teach us morals and ethics, not hatred and anger. Stop over analyzing it and just take it for what it is. Don't let some "elder" try and convince you of what you know in your heart to be true.Treat others as you would want to be treated, plan and simple.As for all of you out there that think I'm off my rocker (lol) it's OK, I like where I am now and the mentality that I have. I have never been Happier or more at peace with myself ever. So don't worry about me, worry about yourself. Open your Hearts and Minds to all those things you don't understand, you may just find something you can really connect with. Blessings and Love to you all.

Stand your ground....

It is written that if someone strikes you on the right cheek you should turn and offer him the left. This pacifist attitude should never be looked at as a sign of weakness, but as a sign of strength and courage. It shows to the person who wants to do you harm, that no matter what they do you will not let yourself sink to their level. It makes no difference whether they cause you physical harm, use harsh words to you or cause you some mental pain. By not retaliating you are showing them that you will not let them influence the way you live your life.

It is not the actions or the words of others that cause us to become angry with people or to hate them, that is a decision that we must make on our own. We let ourselves get angry, we let ourselves start to hate. Don't let others decide for you how you should feel and how you should act. Let your conscience be your guide and always do the right thing even if it means doing nothing at all. The way that others treat us is their Karma, the way we react to it is ours. Don't let someone who has hurt you continue to do so by causing you to have negative Karma. Remember they can only hurt us if we let them. Blessings and Love to all.

Don't let the door hit you in the...........

It seems to me, this past year I have had more people that I considered friends, just walk out of my life. For one reason or another they had made up their minds that I was someone they no longer wanted to be acquainted with. Some of them I saw coming and others came out of left field. I was caught totally off guard. But regardless of why or how it ended they all were accompanied by DRAMA. I try and not let myself get caught up in a finger pointing contest, whose fault it was and who could have done this or that. It has come painfully obvious that some relationships just don't last forever.

There is an old saying that most times you can learn more from your enemies then you can from your friends. If you think about it, that is a very true statement.I sit back and think about those people who have hurt me in the past and the lesson I take away from it is, now I know what kind of people I don't want in my life. There are some people in the world who are so wrapped up in their own lives that everything else becomes just a bore to them.They monopolize the conversation with stories of what is new with them, what their kids did and how their spouse pissed them off. Don't' be fooled, they put up a false front that they really care about you, but in the end all they care about is themselves. Always looking out for their best interest, no matter who gets hurt.

There is one person in particular that betrayed my trust so badly it is beyond words. I forced myself to be his friend and in the end it cost me dearly. I would never tell anyone what this person did to me, but the details really aren't the important part. The worst part of it was that this person was still "friends" with other people that I care about. I would see him comment on friends statuses and say the crude and vulgar things that he is famous for, and it would make my stomach turn. I learned the hard way what kind of person he is and it worries me that he may hurt someone else the same way he hurt me.You really do have to be careful who you let get close to you.

I hold no bad feelings towards anyone anymore. I have learned the importance of forgiveness and how hating someone only hurts one person, yourself. People are who they are.No one can be changed if they don't want to be, so we are forced to accept people for who they are. We don't have to like it, but worrying about it only breeds negativity in ourselves.Eliminating the negative people from our lives is not only an option. Maybe they are co-workers or even family members, people that you are forced to see everyday. All you can do is make a conscious decision not to let their negative attitudes affect your life. Instead of being angry with them, you should really pity them, because unless they change who they are they will never find happiness in their lives.

So in closing remember NO ONE can have a direct affect on your life without you allowing it. You are the BOSS of you!You and you alone decide how you will live your life. Don't sink down to their level, be the better person. Remember the more you love your life, the more it will love you back!!! Blessings and Love to all. <3<3<3

How will you be remembered?

As most of you know, I took a part time job at a Catholic church to make some extra money. I am basically in charge of setting up for mass and for any funerals and such that are schedule for the day. Even though I turned away from the church long ago, I still sit quietly in the back room and listen to the sermon, the readings from the Bible and to the priest's homily. This is only my second week of work but I have already had to set up for 3 funerals with another one tomorrow. As the service goes on I take special interest in the eulogies that people give for their loved ones. It's sad to think about losing loved ones but it is nice to hear all the funny stories, happy memories and lessons learned, that the loved ones share.

There have been 2 services that have stuck out in my mind and made a real impact on me. The first was an older woman,in her mid 80's, her name escapes me, but it was her nephew who spoke about her. He had so many stories to paint a picture of his late aunt's life. All of them described a caring, loving, warm and fun loving lady who always went beyond what was expected of her. She spent her whole life trying to help as many people as she could. Trying to bring as much happiness as possible into every one's lives. In her eye's everyone she met was deserving of her compassion. It was said that she didn't have a hateful bone in her body. Now if you ask me that is a wonderful way for people to remember you.

The second was the one we had today. She was a young lady, only 22. She had her whole life ahead of her. Her older sister described her as someone who always had a smile on her face. She loved the outdoors and spending time with her family and friends. Even though she was always a very healthy person one day she got very ill and quickly she went down hill. After being in the hospital for just a short while, she passed away.Never having the chance to fulfill her dreams and aspirations. It's always sad when such a young person passes away.

Like I said these 2 stories about these 2 woman have really got me thinking. First, we never know when our time will come. It shows us how important it is to try and live everyday to it's fullest. To not worry about tomorrow or complain about yesterday.Life is way to short to carry around all those things that we don't have any use for. The second thing is, how are you going to be remember by the people who knew you? Will you be remembered as a loving person? A happy person who always had a smile on their face and a kind word to say? Will you be remembered as a person who always went out of their way for people? Or will you be remembered as a person who was always miserable, complaining about everything and everybody? How we live our lives and how we will be remembered is ultimately up to us.Live today as though it will be the one day you are remembered for. Love your life and it will love you back. Blessings and love to all.

Just jokes

The topic for this blog has been floating around in my head for a few weeks now.Some of you may not know the whole story about where I got my nickname "Guru Bubba Mclovin". The Bubba part came from the fact that I am a big fan of country music and the Confederate flag(not anymore), the Mclovin part came when Amy and I were on our way to a party and we decided to get back to our crazy party roots (and I love the movie super bad). As for the "Guru" part, when I got into Buddhism, I tried to be as inspirational as I could to maybe pass on what I had learned. I had found what I needed to turn my life around and finally start being happy.


The term "Guru" is reserved for a teacher or spiritual guide. For the past few weeks I have felt a little uneasy calling myself Guru, even in a joking manner. I have neither the wisdom or the knowledge to be any one's teacher or guide. I started getting this bad feeling like I was being egotistical, like I was trying to fool people into thinking I was something that I wasn't.I know that I have a very long way to go before I should ever try and guide anyone down the path to happiness.

I know that some people think I am strange for following Buddhism and it has become clear that my positive out look annoys some people. I won't apologize for becoming who I have become, but I will let you all know that I never wanted to come across as a person who thought they knew more then you or had all the answers to life's biggest questions. I just wish that everyone could find the Happiness that I have found. Amy says she doesn't see any harm in me jokingly calling myself "Guru", because I am not trying to be something that I'm not. What do you think? Should I stop calling myself Guru Bubba Mclovin? I'm not sure how interesting I'll be if I lose my alter ego.Namaste, Blessings an Love to all.

We all make mistakes

One day a young Buddhist monk, who was new to the order, was sent to help build a new monastery. The task given to the young man was to build a brick wall that would surround the new building. Being a perfectionist he took his time making sure that every brick was laid with the utmost care and precision. Taking extra time to level and clean each brick he laid. Only after several weeks did he finally complete his task, he stepped back to admire his work. After close examination he realized that there were two bricks in the wall that some how became crooked, he was beside himself to say the least. He went to the head monk and asked for permission to demolish the wall and start over again, the Master turned down his request.

For several weeks after he could not get those two bricks out of his head. He would lay in his bed at night and would criticize himself to no end. How could he make such a mistake. Anytime people came to the monastery for a visit it was his job to give the tours, he would do everything he could to keep people from seeing his mistake. This went on for some time. Then one day a group of people showed up unannounced, they were waiting for him at the front entrance, at the very spot of the wall where those two bricks were.After rushing to meet the group he found out that one of the men was a master mason. Embarrassed by his mistake he pointed out the fact that he had been the one that built this wall. After looking very hard at the wall the mason complimented on what a wonderful job the monk had done. The young monk was dumbfounded. He thought to himself, this man must be blind, he must have left his glasses in the car."This is not a good job",the monk said. "Don't you see those two crooked bricks?". The mason said to the monk,"Yes i saw them, but I also see the 998 other bricks that were laid perfectly."


The moral of this story is, why do we always dwell on the mistakes we make or the bad things that happen to us? Life would be so much more enjoyable if we didn't carry around all the negativity that happens and concentrate on the good things we have done and the happiness we have had in our lives. Our lives are what we make of them. Don't waste your time thinking of your two crooked bricks. Be happy about the 998 perfect ones. Love your life and it will Love you back.

Hungry Ghosts

Why is it that so many people in this world think that the more they have the happier they will be? When did it become a rule that you need to take what you can and worry about only yourself? We live in a world that a homeless person is looked at like they are less then human, and someone who plays a child's game but gets paid millions of dollars to do it is considered a hero.The amount of material possessions you have has become more attractive and more important then what you have on the inside.It seems that the amount of money you have in the bank is more important then the amount of love you have in your heart.Where did this unsatisfiable hunger for material objects and wealth come from?Does the person who dies with the most really win?





We spend thousands of dollars on a television set.Pay $6 for a cup of coffee and we have cell phones that have more functions then a Swiss army knife.Is it true that the more expensive something is the better it is? I would say NO!Our lust for money and material objects has even made some of us suspicious of others.That anyone who reaches out a hand to help or tries to get close to us must want something from us.We have this mentality that nothing in this world is free,that everything has a cost.How have we become these misers who think this way?Is it true that someone who is a millionaire is a better person then someone who is unemployed ?When is enough enough?





We have to get our priorities back in order. We need to look inside ourselves and see what is really important.We need to replace our greed with generosity, our anger with love, our suspicion with trust and our anger with caring.We all know deep down inside how we should live our lives and how we should treat others. The hard part is doing it.Just imagine how the world would be if everyone cared about everyone else as much as they cared about themselves.Imagine if we all had enough to live,if we all were considered equals.Every person on this planet has one thing in common, we all want to be happy.No matter if your the richest person in the world or the poorest, we all desire happiness.But the good news is, happiness isn't something that can be bought or gifted to you. You have to find it within, so it doesn't matter how much you do or don't have,you can be happy.Blessings and Love to all. Namaste.

Karma is a *#@!&

So I guess due to my new found beliefs I have really noticed how many people use the word "Karma" in their everyday lives. Just the other day I was standing in line at the dollar store to buy my wife some glue sticks. In front of me were these 2 teenage girls with a basket full of groceries.They must have known the boy working the register because he had commented on the stuff they were buying. Then one of the young ladies told him that a little old lady they knew asked them to run to the store to pick up a few things.She then told the boy that she said yes because it was "good Karma". It made me smile to see some young people do a good deed for an elderly neighbor, but then I got to thinking about the context of what she said.I don't really think she understands the whole concept of Karma. I think a lot of you don't realize that there is more to it then "what goes around comes aorund".


These 2 young girls did this good deed because it would bring them good Karma.You can't do a good deed for someone and expect something in return, you should do it out of the kindness of your heart and because it was the right thing to do. If the only reason you did it was to get good "Karma" then your actions were wasted. There is no pulling the wool over the eyes of the universe, it can see directley into our hearts and know our intentions at the exact moment we do anything.So the next time you see the oppurtunity to do something kind for another ,do it just because it's the right thing to do.


I saw a post on a friends status that said she loves when she "sees Karma come back and punch someone in the face". And that got me thinkin about some other misunderstandings about this thing called "Karma". Karma by definition is that there is a cause and effect for everything that happens in the universe.Everything that has ever happened to any of us is due to something we have done in this or previous lives.But Karma doesn't just mean our actions. It also means our thoughts,our words and our feelings. If you have negative thoughts about someone you are sending out bad Karma. Just the thought of wishing bad Karma on another is a negative thought and will result in bad Karma for you.Being happy to see someone get what you think they deserve is not a positive way to see the situation. We all reap what we sow. There is no getting away from it. All we can do is try and be the nicest person possible and take life as it comes, day by day.Remember what someone does to us is their Karma, they way we react to it is our Karma.Blessings and love to you all.

Not everything is as it seems.

I remember as a young child seeing homeless people, they always seemed to be older men and women wearing rags for clothes and sipping on a bottle of something still in the brown paper bag. I always assumed they were mentally disabled. Maybe veterans that came back from the war and had nothing here waiting for them. Or maybe they were mental patients who were released from the hospital and could not function in normal society. But then I am sure some were drug abusers who had lost everything to their addiction. What ever their story was I had a vision of what a homeless person looked like. Well, I am sad to say that that vision for me has been changed.


The past few days I have been doing some work at the house of a friends mother. Each day as I was on my way home, as I crossed the Boulevard, I saw a young woman standing on the island dividing the lanes of traffic. From a distance she appears to be in her early twenties. Her clothes seem to be the same you would see any other woman her age wearing, just a lot dirtier. She holds a sign that reads "Homeless, please help." As I drive past her my mind starts to wander about how she got to this awful point in her life. How is it possible that a young lady like her has no one to take her in and give her a helping hand? A friend or a family member to give her a bed to sleep in or some food to fill her belly. This young woman who has her whole life ahead of hear should not be worrying about where her next meal will be coming from, or where she will be sleeping to keep the rain of her head.


This young lady is not the only nameless person who is in need of help. On our many trips to the city I recall seeing a man, maybe in his fifties holding a sign that read "Homeless Vet. IM not a druggie IM just hungry." I wondered why he felt like he had to assure people that he wasn't some druggie who was just looking for his next fix. Then it occurred to me that so many of us automatically think the worst when we see someone in that setting. Why do we as a society always think the worst of each other? This country has hit rock bottom financially and many hard working people are being forced out of their homes and looking for other options. We cannot continue to turn our backs on these people. They are all human beings that deserve our compassion and generosity.


We must all do what ever we can to help. Now I know times are tough everywhere for everyone. We may not have extra money to give to all the people who need our help, but there are so many other ways you can make a difference. You can donate those old clothes instead of throwing them away. You can make some sandwiches and give them out to people you come across. You can volunteer your time at a soup kitchen or shelter. Sometimes the smallest act of compassion can make the biggest difference. In closing the message I think I am trying to get across is, the next time you see someone living on the street stop and be thankful for all that you have, and remember that if you were in their shoes how grateful you would be if someone took the time to stop and help you. Blessings and Love to you all.

This to shall pass.

For the past few days I have really been thinking hard about change. How nothing in this world is permanent. There is an old saying that "you can never step into the same river twice" and what that means is that every second of every day things are changing all around us. Whether we want to believe it or not, we are constantly changing. Our bodies are getting older, our thoughts and emotions are never the same from minute to minute. We are not the same person we were yesterday. For some people change is a scary thing, but how silly is it to fear something we have no control over? We can't stop it, so why not just embrace it.


With that in mind take a look at your own situation. Think about the people or things in your life that make you "happy".Maybe it's that brand new car you just bought. For so long you dreamed of owning it and every time your in it you have a real sense of accomplishment. How are you going to feel about that same car the first time it breaks down and costs you a small fortune to get it fixed. Or maybe it was a new shirt that you thought made you look really good. How is it gonna feel when it goes out of style? The same goes true for people in our lives. Think about that special someone who you felt so close to that you never thought you would ever go your separate ways. Then one day that person is not there any more. Are you going to feel like something is missing in your life?


You see the real problem here isn't that things change. It's the fact we let ourselves get attached to them. We pin our hopes of happiness onto things that could never live up to our expectations. Maybe you are waiting for that special someone to come into your life, someone who will make you feel complete. You create an image in your mind of this perfect person, and when you finally do find someone the first time they do something that doesn't measure up to your image you feel let down. Or maybe it is a friend you had growing up. Someone who was right by your side whenever you needed them. But as you both got older your interests seem to have gone in different directions and you aren't as close as you used to be. Will you feel betrayed because they are not there for you like they used to be?



The truth of the matter is we can't let ourselves become so attached to things that our happiness depends on them. Once you realize that nothing is permanent you will be free to just live for today and enjoy the moment. Be close to the people you love and enjoy the things you have, but true happiness comes from within. It is not something that can be gifted to you or be bought in a store. It comes from knowing that the here and now is all that matters. We can't buy back yesterday, so spend your days wisely. Blessings and Love to all.

Set your bags down here.

So how many of us have used the phrases:"That person has a lot of Baggage","They have issues" or "Why can't they just let it go?". But I wonder how many of us realize the excess baggage that we are carrying around. All those things that we hold deep down inside our hearts that cause us so much sadness and pain. So many of us carry so much that it slowly drags us down to the point where we feel like we can't go on. We have these feelings of resentment and anger towards people that may have been out of our lives for years. Maybe we are still upset about something unfair that happened to us. Or maybe we lost someone we loved. No matter what it is that each of us carry or cling on to, we have to learn to let it go.


We all have to learn to let go of the person we used to be. We have to let go of all the negative attitudes and feelings that have been growing in our hearts for all these years. We have to replace those feelings of hatred with compassion, replace jealousy with generosity and replace resentment with forgivness.How many of us have hated someone, and that person never knew how we felt? Who is really suffering from that hatred? How many of us still wallow in sadness from losing a loved one? Do you think that loved one would really want you to be sad because of their passing? Or would they want you to get on with your life and be the happiest you could be? How many of us still hold onto feelings from a past relationship? Even though the other person has moved on and found happiness somewhere else. Clinging onto things is one of the major reasons of suffering.


We have to learn to live in the here and now. To take things for what they are worth and to deal with them as they come. Nothing in this world is permanent. Things come and go and we can't waste our time clinging onto the things that have gone. It's great to hold onto memories but don't let them monopolize your mind so that you lose the chance to make new ones. What would happen if when you were driving down the road and your eyes were fixated on the rear view mirror? You would most definitely miss that turn ahead. We have to stay aware of the world around us."They call today the present because it truly is a gift." I know we have all heard this saying before but how many of us really believe it. Today is the first day of the rest of your life and it is up to you whether you want to live in the past or live for today. I am choosing to live for today and I would love for you to be here with me. Blessings and love to you all.

It's a work in progress

For as long as I can remember I have thought I was leading a good life, being a good person. I always considered myself a good friend to those I cared about. But through all my reading about Buddhism and on my search for finding my spiritual path I have realized that I have a lot of room for improvement. I realized I can be so much more. We all can be so much more. The thing that amazes me most is that the teachings of the Buddha are pretty much common sense. All his teachings are probably things we have all heard at some point in our lives. Whether they were taught to us by our parents, grand parents or maybe a teacher or religious figure. Whoever it was, they were people who wanted us to grow to be good, hard working, honest, loving and compassionate people. But as I read on and reflect on my life I see that somewhere along the way I lost some of those wonderful life lessons.


These lessons are so simple, they can be found in almost any religious beliefs. Buddhism, Christianity, Judaism and even Islam. All these religions tell us to live good lives and love each other as we love ourselves. They tell us to show loving compassion for all God's creatures. Big or small. Human or animal. Man or woman. Black or white. We are all dependent on each other. It is not possible for an island of happiness to be surrounded by an ocean of suffering. It is impossible for us to be happy if everyone around us is suffering. What a wonderful place this would be if we all cared about each others happiness. If we all went out of our way to help our fellow man. Could you imagine what that would be like.


But after so many years of being a certain way I am finding it really hard to change the way I think and feel about certain things. But I am making a conscious effort to not let the negativity creep back into my mind. For way too long if I saw someone on the streets that I disapproved of I would either think or say something really awful about them. I disliked certain groups of people just because they weren't like me or believe what I did. So the first step I took was when I see someone like that I try not to have any thoughts about them. I just see them, as another human being. I have also made an effort not to use profanity any more. I just don't see the need for it anymore. It really is amazing the power our words have. What we say can hurt someone so badly that it takes years to heal from it, but on the other hand what we say can be so positive for someone that it changes their life forever. To many of us speak without thinking of the consequences our words could have.


The word Buddha has a very simple meaning. It means enlightened one, we all have the potential to become a Buddha. We all know what it really means to be a "good" person. All we have to do is look deep inside ourselves and find that loving compassionate person that is in us all. I know now that my happiness is dependent on the happiness of others. So I will continue to do all I can to help everyone be the happiest you possibly can be. Blessings and Love to you all.

Let go of your Ego!

I once read somewhere that "If you only think of yourself, you will be the only one thinking of you!".Although it is very important to love and respect yourself I truly believe that this world has gone from a self-respecting state of mind to an egotistical attitude. To many of us, somehow, have become disillusioned that the world revolves around us and everything that happens in our lives. That our life journey is far more important then the journey's of others.That our good news is much more interesting then your neighbors. And that our accomplishments should be shouted out from the mountain tops. There are people who think they can live without others, but the more disillusioned person is the one who thinks others can't live without them.

I have been reading a wonderful book for the past week and it has really opened my eyes to a lot of things. It never occurred to me that there are two sides to the "Ego" coin. The first side is when we are so wrapped up in ourselves that we constantly remind people about how great,successful,lucky and blessed we are. Walking around like the sun never sets before we lay our heads down to sleep. These people believe that any wrong doings that fall upon them are do to the faults of others not to the faults of themselves. Because in their eyes they can do no wrong. They have built their Ego up so much that they have pushed out any remnants of Honor that they had left.

But let's not forget the flip side to this coin. These are the people who can't stop talking about all the bad things that have happened in their lives. They manipulate the conversation telling everyone about how life is so unfair to them. About how if they didn't have bad luck, they wouldn't have any luck at all. Or maybe the complain about their physical appearance, or are always putting themselves down to get a laugh from the crowd (I am just as guilty as anyone on this subject.).They believe that their problems out weight everyone else's problems, whether they realize it or not. Do they do this for the sake of maybe getting pity from others? Or do they do it because they want reassurance that their life really isn't that bad? For what ever reason they do it, it is their ego's that make them do it.

When did it become so important to us to have the acceptance of others? When did "Ego" become more important then "Honor"? When did so many of us stop caring about our fellow man? Like everyother problem that we have in this world it is much to big for one person to fix. But like any journey it starts with the first step. All we can do as humans is try and better the little piece of the world that is our lives. By trying to live an Honorable life filled with love and compassion for all we can start the ball rolling. You will find more people follow you when you lead by example then if you lead with words. I have always tried to go out of my way to help someone in need, but there was always limitations to who I would help. Maybe I would exclude a specific race or class of people because I didn't believe they deserved my help. But who am I to determine who is worthy and who is not? How egotistical would that be? The world would be a much better place if we all stopped thinking of ourselves and reached out a hand to others. We can't let our ego's cloud our judgments anymore. We are all in this together. Love your life and it will love you back.

Why I feel so "Old"

There are many tell tale signs that I am getting older. The fact that I am finding more and more gray hairs popping up everyday. The reflection in the mirror has definitely change over the years. Having aches and pains in parts of the body that you never thought could hurt. I turn on the oldies station on the radio and hear songs of my youth, knowing that the toys that I played with are now rare collectibles and have spots in some antique stores and museums. Seeing the athletes that I looked up too as a child looking like someone's grandparents. Going to a Doctor that is younger then I am. Watching the same daughter that I held in my arms get ready for high school dances. But these are not the things that make me feel really old.



The thing that makes me feel like I am some ancient being from some long lost era is seeing the way the world has changed. Certain ways of thinking and acting that were inbreeded in me from a very young age.Manners,morals and respect have all seem to become some kind punch line that the younger generation use to make older people feel like we were from some other planet. I am sure that the older generations that have passed are looking down at us shaking their heads wondering how could it get so bad in such a short period of time. I remember as a young boy visiting my grandparents, my grand pop would take me out to the back yard to do some yard work. And as I was raking the leaves he would not miss the opportunity to tell me how a gentleman was supposed to act. Always open a door or offer your seat to a lady. Never use foul language in front of children, a lady or the elderly. When you shake someone's hand, look them in the eye and give them your word, you always follow through with what you promise. He taught me that your honor is much more important then your ego. Then he told me about respecting your elders and the elderly, because if it wasn't for them we would not have what we have now. They are the ones that paved the road in making this country what it is today.



The whole idea for this blog came to me in a very strange place. I was at the super market picking up a few things last night. As I was standing at the end of the isle I saw a little old lady struggling to pick up a case of spring water to put into her cart. Every time some young person walked past her like she wasn't even there I got more and more ashamed of what has become of us as a people. I quickly made my way over to help her. She smiled and thanked me and say it was nice to see there were still a few gentlemen in the world. What she said made me feel good and sad all at the same time. I think I would have felt happier to see a young person help her. After that I made my way to the closest check out line to wait my turn. Standing not 5 feet away from me in the next line was a young mother, couldn't be any older then 23 or 24. She had her little boy, maybe 3 or 4 in the cart. She was on her cell phone talking to someone, and every other word out of her mouth was profanity. She used language that you would expect to hear coming from a construction site. But here she was using in the presence of her young child and in front of mixed company. The little old lady I had helped was standing behind her and by the look on her face she felt the same way I did, completely disgusted.Have we as a people forgotten how to express ourselves without using vulgar language? Have we forgotten how to show love and compassion to others? Are we really so self centered that we believe the rest of the world isn't as important as we are?



I know that when I was a child growing up not to far from where I live now, I would have never seen the things I saw last night.The world has changed so much in the past 25 years, and I don't even mean the technology. So many of us have lost all respect for others and for ourselves, if that's the way we are going to act. I really do believe that we are on a downward spiral as a culture. I for one refuse to let myself get caught up in the "ME, ME, ME" attitude that so many have nowadays. I will continue to be the person that my grandfather hoped I would grow up to be. And I will keep reminding my children the importance of living a good, loving and compassionate life.So I am making a plea to all that read this, let's try and bring back the old and out dated way of treating our fellow man. It would be a much nicer place to live. Well this was some serious ranting.I just hope that there are some people out there that agree with me. It would make me feel alot less old.LOL!!! Love your life and it will love you back.

What does "friend" mean to you?

So I got to thinking about the word friend today.Webster's dictionary defines it as: a person with whom one enjoys mutual affection.As for me I would like to think it means a lot more then that. I am very careful about who I call "friend," I think a lot of people tend to use the word to frequently. In my eyes you have to be a special person to be a real friend. A real friend is someone that is there for you no matter what. They are there, when something good happens in your life, to help you celebrate. They are there to help hold things together when it feels like your world is falling apart. You find out who your friends are when your car breaks down in the middle of the night or when it's time to move. But a real friend is even more then that.


To a real friend your happiness is just as important to them as their own. They wish just as many good things for you as they do for themselves. Always there if you need a shoulder to cry on or just to listen to you when you have a problem. They care enough about you to tell you the truth even if it's not what you want to hear. A "real" friend never says to themselves "what's in it for me" or "why do they always bother me when they have a problem," because a true friend wants you to call them when you need them. They are the ones that are walking in when the rest of the world is walking out. Never turning their backs on you. And the only time they would ever get in your way is when you are falling.


Anyone who has a "friend" like the one I just described is truly blessed. But not everyone can have a friend like this, for you see to have a friend like this you have to be a friend like this. Friendship is not a one way street, to have a strong and lasting friendship you both have to do your part to make it work. Just remember "Friends" are the family we get to choose, so choose wisely. Surround yourself with people who you know would never hurt you and always be there for you, and as long as you feel the same way about them your lives together will be filled with love and happiness. I really look forward to making a lifetime of memories with the people I call "FRIEND." Love your life and it will love you back!

What works for us,

Some friends of mine (you know who you are) have told me in the past that I could hold classes about how to be a good husband. Well, I don't know about how good of a husband I am. I have had my share of moments when I would drive my wife crazy. We have been together for almost 15 years now and we have our fair share of hard times. At each others throats, saying terrible things to each other and even threatening to leave the other. But we rode out the storm and together we have grown. Not only mentally but spiritually. You know in my life I have heard people say that "you shouldn't have to work at making your relationship last." I couldn't disagree more with that statement. You need to work for everything that you want to keep. Maybe a better saying would be "working on your relationship should never feel like work." Everything I do for my wife and children I do because I want to do it. I work on keeping them happy and safe. But not for one moment did I wish I didn't have that job. It is the best job I could ever wish for. And it is mine till the day I die.


I was just watching the news and they had an interview with Tiger Woods. I have to admit when I heard about his infidelity I was totally disgusted by him. I never understood cheating on the person your with. I mean if you want to be with other people then just have the decency to break it off with the person your in a relationship with. It always breaks my heart when I hear about a marriage ending in divorce. The divorce rate in this country is staggering! How have we as a people come to this? Let's look back, just a few generations, our grandparents generation. So many couples were getting married at such young ages (17-20) after knowing each other just a short period of time, and they are married for 40,50 even 60 years. What did they know that somehow got lost from our mentality? The old saying goes "they don't build em like that anymore" well in my eyes that goes for relationships too.


There is one thing that I would tell someone who came to me for marital advice. My happiness has always depended on the happiness of my loved ones. Knowing that my wife and children are happy is the best thing in the world to me. And I know that my wife feels the same for me. When you have two people who's one goal in life is to make the other happy, you have a good recipe for success. I truly know that my wife and I will be together forever. There is no one in the world I would rather grow old with. "Being in love" with someone isn't enough, you have to "Love being" with that person too. You have to be able to just enjoy each others company. Play games, watch movies, act like fools together or just sit quietly and read together. Having a REAL friendship is, in my eyes, one of the most important pieces to having a good relationship. It's not the only piece but it's a big one. Well like I said, I don't know how qualified I am to write about how to have a good relationship, I just know what works for us. And hopefully, to everyone reading this, if it hasn't already, I hope you find what works for you. Love your life and it will love you back.

Be Happy!

What is it in human nature that makes so many of us dwell on the bad things that happen in our lives? They say things like "My life sucks","I am so unlucky" and "Why do these things always happen to me?". But I wonder, when things were going your way did you ever stop and think about how good your life was? Were you thankful and appreciative? We all have so much in our lives to be thankful for, but we take them all for granted. Almost like they are owed to us. I bet anyone sitting in a wheelchair right now would love to trade places with you just to be able to walk down the street. But we complain when we have park far away from the mall and have to walk a little. And some of us want to have a bigger and fancier place to live. I think the guy sleeping under the bridge would find it very comfortable. Everyone has UP's and down's in their lives. You lose things that you loved, people who you cared about hurt your feelings, someone you love passes away or you may have even lost your job. And all those things are terrible and it hurts when they happen. Pain is inevitable but suffering is optional. That means you can't stop from hurting, but dwelling on it makes the pain in your heart last so much longer and makes it so much worst. Complaining or feeling sorry for yourself will never make your problems go away. We don't lose if we get knocked down! We lose if we stay down! I for one would much rather go through this life being positive that someday all my dreams are going to come true. But I am not going to sit around and stare at the clock waiting for them. I am happy with the life I have right now. That is the first step we must all take if we want to be happy. To many people search for perfection while they snub their nose at contentment. To many people search for the right person to make them happy when all the time it is in themselves. You have the power to make yourself happy. Your mind is the most important thing you have and you can't even see it or touch it. But no one can ever take it from you or use it against you unless you allow them to. Just like the old saying "You can do anything you put your mind too!" Well, I would love to see you put your mind too being happy. Love your life and it will love you back!

How did I get here?

It was the summer from "HELL"! The summer of 2009 will be etched into my memory as the "summer my life changed forever". I had just lost my job, our only income, all our medical coverage and any type of security that we may have had. But thanks to my wife and this book she read( The Secret) I stayed optimistic. Things always seemed to work out for the best when we needed them to. But then came the next chain of events that shook my world to it's foundations. In a matter of 2 months three things happened to me that I wasn't sure I was going to be able to survive. But not only did I survive, I decide that it was about time I start excepting responsibility for my life and not let this break me. It was going to make me stronger. I made a decision that it was time to realize what was important in my life and to be finally happy. I started out by just looking up some inspirational quotes and sayings. Some truly amazing people said some amazing things. But something kept pulling me towards one person. This one man decided that he didn't want to suffer anymore. So he went out looking for the cure to every one's misery. And after a very long time he found it. Buddha knew that the way to end your suffering was to be Happy. To have Love and compassion in your heart for everyone. Could it really be that simple? Well lets think about it. When you walk into a store and the cashier smiles at you and says hello, doesn't that make you feel good? Or when someone goes out of their way to hold a door open for you or to step aside and let you go first.Isn't that nice? These are some of the most simple things we can do everyday, that could make someone else's day a little better.So just imagine that on a grander scale. If you did everything you possibly could to help the people in your life imagine how quickly your happiness would spread.


For the first time in a very long time I have a great group of friends. People I would do anything for. If they called me up in the middle of the night and needed me, I would be there for them. I wish them all the best in the world and I hope all their dreams come true. But the one thing I want for them more then anything is for them to be happy. I mean truly happy. I know now that I am truly happy. I have a wonderful loving wife, 2 kids that make my heart so filled with pride that some days it feels like it's going to burst out of my chest. I have a mother-in-law and father-in-law that would do anything for us. We have a wonderful house that we have made a home. But all of this came at a price. Amy and I struggled. Financially and emotionally. Saying we had our ups an downs would be an understatement. But together we made it through the rough times. If we can do it anyone can. You just have to have faith in yourselves and remember going through this life happy is much more better than being miserable. All you have to do is get it into your mind that you are going to take control of your life. That you deserve to and want to be happy. That your life is going to start getting better right now.But remember to make your world better you have to help make the people in your world better.We are all in this together, by showing each other the love and compassion that Buddha taught us we can make this world a better place........Love your life, and it will love you back.